In Association with Leading

Universities

Tips On Stress Reduction

Money is one huge source of negative emotions in our lives, relationships are the other. And the two often go hand in hand, especially in marriage and in business partnerships.

Many people find it not encouraging getting into business relationships with friends and family, even small joint venture projects, simply because money changes relationships.

An emotion that all too often arises in relationships with others is anger. How can we use anger in a healthy way to deal with difficult money situations and also relationships?

But anger backfires completely when directed at another person. There's no way to stop ourselves from becoming angry and irritated at others. But we can learn to neutralize our anger.

One way is to breathe deeply and do breathing exercises. When we shift our attention to our breathing and to breathing as deeply as we can, we'll feel our anger subside.

Breathe in and feel your abdominal area expand. Then exhale by pushing your air out with your abdominal muscles. Even doing this just 5-6 times in a row will calm you. It is called natural lung detoxification where more oxygen is inhaled and more carbon dioxide is exhaled from your body.

Now, if someone is yelling at you or in your face about something, it's not always possible to do this. Breathing exercises work best before an angry situation erupts. During those times when you might be tempted to initiate a negative exchange or respond in the same way with someone. Start teaching and training your body to breathe this way and it will remember when you need to manage your anger.

Another thing to do is to treat the other person AS IF they were already behaving the way you wanted them to behave. Call this the AS IF rule.

If your kid drops his coat on the floor without hanging it up, instead of snapping at him, talk to him as if he was a model child who always hangs up his coat.

Or if you are disappointed in your husband, treat him as if he was already the man your dreams, even if he doesn't deserve it. By shifting your way of thinking will help prevent   the automatic reaction of anger and the negative back talk you generate because of the hurt.

When we focus on these and other ways of stopping negative emotions from happening in the first place, we'll have a much more peaceful life and happier relationships.

Dr Zaitun Sulaiman
Practicing Psychotherapist & Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist
Email: zaitun@ctawellness.com